• Yes, rumors are rumors. I completely agree with that. But considering these rumors are gained by party and just as defensive party members who make the initial statements, their friends in their cliques will take it to heart and use it as a counter-measure point about something that either isn't their business, or something they weren't there to experience. Most of the people who make the claims don't interact with me on a personal basis enough to actually know aside from what they hear from their friends. Please, before you start saying this and that, get some facts, maybe discuss things with me and learn both sides of the situation, and stop being biased.
  
  

• Quote:When people confront you about things that you do that they find problematic or that make them uncomfortable, you’ve been known to be highly defensive rather than understanding.

  
  Perhaps this is because generally they're either just as defensive or don't present themselves in a proper manner (not saying I do myself all the time), but if you want to be a stubborn (excuse my language) jackass, then I'm not going to listen to you. If you present me with a fair argument, I'll agree with it, but just because you try to persuade me doesn't mean I should either. That's like forcing someone to change their opinion on a matter. I have different opinions, I'm a person, it's not a big deal if I don't always see eye to eye with everyone on a subject.
  
  

• Quote:If you think that being a good friend means accepting your friends for their flaws… well, you’re not entirely correct. A good friend talks to their friends about their flaws in order to help them improve and strengthen their relationship, but when they do the person needs to be receptive to it. It’s not fair for them to pour their heart out while their friend is hiding behind a shield. Friends with the courage to tell you honestly how they feel about you are a blessing, and if you don’t appreciate when they do, then I’m sorry to say that you're letting those friends go to waste.

  
  I doubt I really had these in the first place, because nobody gets mano a mano to me about things, which I what I prefer, instead of going around snarking behind people's back. If you have a problem, tell me. But don't come off abrasive and overbearing about it, because that's going to make me not want to listen and if it's not going to be productive or fair, I'm more inclined to feel offended, and that I should have to change for someone else. I don't ask other people to change for me, I don't see why I should be forced to.
  
  Yeah, I have problems with people, I don't like the actions every person does, but I'll tell them if I figure it's worth trying (which most of the time it doesn't, because as much as other people want their friends to be receptive, they won't be in return).
  
  And there's honestly not much courage required, I'm not a big scary monster who'll kill you for saying something. It's a simple, "Hey Ryu, can we talk?", which nobody bothers to do. Then again, if I have a problem with them they're not going to listen to me. Like I said earlier, respect is a two way street.
  
  
• Another issue is that you seem to shoot ideas from others down without giving a concrete reason as to why they shouldn't be considered. It’s true that some things may not be necessary for a game to function, but you’re in a community of people who may find more enjoyment out of the things they’re suggesting or supporting than you, so unless you have a reason to believe it would harm the game itself, you should refrain from nay-saying outright. Not necessary is not the equivalent of a bad idea, and if you take this mindset with the development of a game then you’ll be holding it back from reaching its full potential.
  
  Just because I don't agree with things doesn't mean people have to be up in arms about why. I have concrete reasons, just because I don't post a novel about why I disagree, doesn't mean I should have to. I know why and a brief explanation is sufficient enough. If you don't agree with me, then don't. Don't get mad over it. I'm not even the ultimate decided in the end, Dev makes the decision whether or not half the community disagrees. How people view me shouldn't be reflected on what ideas I do or don't agree with.
  
  
• Ryu, I cannot stress enough that you need to try to stop being so defensive. Not only are you going to stress yourself out, but you’ll end up losing good friends that way. I realize that you get a lot of negativity from the community, and I realize that it’s most likely very stressful, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you’re the victim.
  
  I'm sorry defensive? I don't see why when people call me out I shouldn't be able to correct them. Just because words come from someone doesn't mean it's true, and it's not really nice to just spout out slander from time to time (doesn't mean 100% of the time). I may be defensive in some cases, it doesn't mean I'm always some kind of iron wall. It may be the way I explain things, or my vocabulary, or something, but it seems people generally misinterpret what I'm saying sometimes, because normally I'm in a neutral mood until you start calling me out or acting rude and the like. I really just try to mind my business and enjoy things, or help people when I can, but I do get stressed out when people start saying unnecessary comments, spouting slander, or just trying to create drama for no reason.
  
  

• Quote:People are constantly bringing up your issues (to you and around you), and while they may not always be in the most tactful of ways

  
  You don't think they may be part of the problem?
  
  

• Quote:if you value your relationships and the feelings of other people, then if nothing else you should always focus on extracting the points that will help you grow as a person to avoid the same mistakes in the future, or at least make a mental note that this particular person does not like this particular kind of behavior, and take that into consideration when they're around.

  
  Yes, I understand this, and I have taken this into consideration under many accounts. Then again, I expect the same to be done for me. If I don't see any sort of change though on their part, don't you think it's a slap in the face to me just for me to be the only one to do anything?
  
  

• Quote:Why would people constantly bring up your problems if they felt you could do nothing about them?

  
  It's not beyond people to complain for poor reasons, it's human nature to complain. I'm not discrediting your opinion, but I doubt 100% of it is for my benefit. In fact I could show logs of people saying they're only doing it for the purpose of not having to hear about it anymore.
  
  

• Quote:Having flaws doesn't make you a bad person, but refusing to manage them when you know that they’re hurting other people might.

  
  I really believe this is an exaggeration. No one's being hurt by what I do, I'm not the kind of person to hurt people, that's not who I am or what I do. If you're hurt by an opinion I have or something along those lines, then I'm not sorry, I shouldn't have to apologize because I like this or agree with that. If I do something wrong and someone's feelings get hurt over something, yes, I'll admit my fault and apologize for it, but not for being human. I'm not perfect nor do I expect anyone else to be.
  
  Also, if you get mad over my IC when most of it I have planned out and spend a good bit of time thinking about it to make sure it doesn't break lore (unlike the assumptions people make when they're not even actually part of the situation or know what tricks I may have in mind), then I definately am not going to care or apologize. It's IC, it's a game. If you don't like it, just avoid it. If one of my characters ICly pesters you and stalks you, call a guard. Don't take it into OOC and get mad at me over my characters' actions.
  
  

• Quote:If they can’t even approach you with the problem without feeling that you’ll get defensive and shut them out, then what else can they do but talk to people who they believe will really understand and consider their feelings?

  
  "Don't knock it until you try it." Or whatever the phrase was. Point being, I find less respect in people who can't come to me face to face (or as close as you can be on the internet) about a problem. If people did that, and maybe were a bit more mature and respectful about how they conducted it, I'd be more open to their voice. But if you don't try, and don't say anything, then it's about the same as whining about a player or problem in game and being too afraid / lazy to consult a GM about it. Like I said, I'm not perfect, but I'm not some kind of devil either (/hints at the Infamous Demon Lord title).
  
  

• Quote:Again, you have no obligation to respond to this, and unless there's something in there that you didn't quite understand that I need to clarify then it may be best that you don't. There should no longer be any doubts as to some of the main sources of animosity between you and the community, so how you proceed from here with this in mind will show where your priorities lay. I've already done my part; there's not much more that I can say to help you. But please, please do read this with the consideration it deserves, because it is meant purely to help you improve.

  
  Don't misunderstand, I've read what you said, and I have taken / given it consideration, but then again it's a bit unfair to just say, "hey listen to me but I don't care what you have to say". Though I do appreciate the way you handled things.
  
  
  
  As for Sarinpa, to clarify on your part. (And no, none of this is in any manner aggressive or angry).
  
  
• I'm not angry all the time, whether it may seem that way. I'm rather being more stern and assertive when I'm doing my job as a GM. So when you see the gold letters and when I say "knock it off", or "lay down the law" per se, that's not me being angry, that's me putting my foot down as a GM and getting the unnecessary stupidity / rule breaking to stop.
  
  
• I cuss, a lot, it's part of my vocabulary and can be pretty misleading. It's a difficult habit to break. Although trust me, I'm not angry in the slightest even when I cuss. I have a lot more control over my anger than people think (imagine seeing me back in highschool as a teenager and losing my voice over yelling).
  
  
• When you contacted me on Skype, I'd already heard word of some impending drama, over Maikito's character Akil being kidnapped. And I heard you fussed about something in the Anubite chat, and people were whining about "Ryu drama" when that was all PD and nothing I had to do with. It was involved in a situation I created ICly, yeah, but PD using Lerais to kidnap Akil wasn't on me. So chain of events, blah blah; "Ryu drama", people whine, I heard that you quit the Anubite chat, and then getting this sudden message from you ticked in my head as you coming to personally attack me. Yeah it was a bad assumption on my part, but when you hear all the crap I do all the time and deal with it practically daily, you tend to get irritated over it being mentioned.
  
  Plus, your reasoning didn't seem very helpful when you said, "I'm doing this because I'm tired of hearing people complaining".
  
  

• Quote:Not with just me and the warning you gave me after a single joke. I tried to talk to you about it privately on skype (Since OOC is hardly the place to discuss it) and you backhanded me and removed me without as much as a response.

  
  Firstly, you got yourself caught in a bad storm when I was explaining to a few people they should've stopped arguing, dropped their heated debate, and moved on. Then told them they really shouldn't have a "get thicker skin" attitude, because it's disrespectful to others if you think you can say what you want when you want and people should just deal with it. So, when you spouted out, "shut your ass up", and they were arguing with me, it really let itself off more like an attack at either me or them. Next time, just, don't say anything; sometimes people can't always tell you're joking, especially over text, and we don't need a war vs GMs happening. Nobody needs to side with the person being reprimanded (other than Dev if he disagrees), and nobody needs to try to backseat GM.
  
  Secondly, I didn't know that was you, and when you sent me a message on Skype, I thought you were just being cheeky and trying to cause a problem. It'd have probably been better if you provided a bit more detail towards your message, and it's not really smart to seem like you're aggressively arguing over a reprimand towards a GM, it just makes you look like you're trying to fight authority (not saying you are, but it can come off that way).
  
  

• Quote:which should give off a good hint that I'm actually trying to be helpful.

  
  I'm paranoid, pessimistic, and usually think the worst of things, so it's common to disagree with that for me. Just pointing that out.
  
  

• Quote:I already said that before, but. . why not and try to listen to people around you?

  
  I haven't really seen much of a reason yet because of the way people talk to / treat me. (Not saying I'm infinitely better). But like I said, maybe if people were more adult about it, we can sit down and discuss things.

"[url=http://neus-projects.net/viewtopic.php?p=2765#p2765 Wrote:Rockabye » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:51 pm[/url]"]Firstly I want to clarify that my statement that it "may be best not to respond" wasn't due to the fact that I felt like I shouldn't care what you had to say. That was primarily because I've noticed (and I'm sure you have too) that when you post on sensitive issues like this, people tend to start arguments over this or that which you said, and I didn't want the thread to deteriorate into that, or to put you in that position in a thread that was meant to be constructive. Actions speak louder than words, so I assumed it would be best to allow you to give your answer that way, rather than through a post that some may jump at the chance to dissect, quote, and attack. There was no disrespect intended.

Next, it wasn't my intention to make biased assumptions. People say all sorts of things, I'm aware, and I made sure I had seen logs before taking it into account for this thread, along with having witnessed some of these scenarios first-hand.

"[url=http://neus-projects.net/viewtopic.php?p=2765#p2765 Wrote:Rockabye » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:51 pm[/url]"]Third, the way your communicate with others does matter in the community. I'm not trying to bring your personal life into this so much as the way you choose to interact with the other people in this community. And I'm not saying that they're not part of the problem, but sometimes it's best to just take their criticism, say "I understand, I'll consider it," and most importantly make sure that the people who do confront you remain comfortable doing it in the future. The thing that concerns me the most is that you were so quick to reply to this thread after first seeing it. Where in the small time-frame between the time you first opened this page to the time you finished writing that reply (which looks like it took awhile) did you really reflect and compare the things I've mentioned with the things that you've done? Either you haven't been with this community very long, or you dismissed the notion entirely.

"[url=http://neus-projects.net/viewtopic.php?p=2765#p2765 Wrote:Rockabye » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:51 pm[/url]"]And finally, this is what I mean when I say you get defensive. Confrontation isn't accusation, so why are you even feeling the need to defend yourself against something that's entirely meant to help you? Everyone believes you can be doing better but, apparently, you. In my time here, not once have I seen you admit you were wrong when all of the evidence said otherwise. And that puts you in a very bad light. I don't mean this in a hostile way, but it's upsetting to see you bringing out the worst in yourself, because then your worst is all people are going to be able to see. If you have a problem with the community, then state it as a separate issue. You made it clear that respect is important to you, but if that's the case then you should recognize how disrespectful it is for you to have a problem with members of the community, but sit on it until you can use it in your defense when they bring up a problem with you. Their problems and your problems are two different things. Yes, everyone has them; but this thread was about yours, and it was meant to help you, so it's actually very hurtful for you to bring up problems with the community now when you can use them in your defense, when a defense isn't even necessary. You're not on trial, we're trying to help.

Quote:But I will say what irritates me the most, and does get me stressed, is how a lot of people around here treat others. I'm tired of hearing on Skype about so and so being an asshole or saying this on OOC or acting this way. It drives a lot of players away and makes them not want to come back. I don't like seeing people leave, Hell I don't even like the thought of banning people. But when people think they can act however they want, and say whatever they want and people have to just put up with it, that's when I start actually getting somewhat irritated. Jokes are fine, I'm entirely okay with you cracking a joke at someone as long as they are okay with it and it doesn't disrespect someone. But when you do, and they tell you to stop but instead you keep going or want to argue with them, I'm going to step in and I'm going to tell you to stop.

Quote:In my time here, not once have I seen you admit you were wrong when all of the evidence said otherwise.

Quote:If you really are fine with your current standing with the community, then I have nothing else I can really say. You've made it clear that you're not too concerned what people think about you