[GFaceKillaXX69]

Man, don't you fuckin' love alliterations and shit? Hell, I do. Not gonna lie, it makes shit flow off the tongue mad easy you know? Sometimes I put a little alliteration here on a bar or two just cause. Not a lotta shit out there that got good names. The Seaside Seafood Snack Shack, it got one've the better ones. A bit long for my tastes. Maybe take out one word in there. But, aside from the alliteration this name do be perfectly describing the kind've experiences you're gonna have at what I'm gonna start calling S3-Shack for short.

The S3-Shack ain' one've them fancy ass restaurants or sit down places that folks go out to have a fine dining experience over. Nah nah nah, the S3-Shack is the kinda shit I've been growin' up with for years. Quick, easy access food at lower prices than average, fit for filling your damn gut if you don't got the time to cook it yourself, and when you on that grind trying to get yours, hell you know you don't got the time. The vibe you get when you walking up on the S3-Shack is sort've like if your favorite kebab place got itself a fancy-ass upgrade and was down with that tech shit.

You got a large variety of seafoods, prepared fresh every day in case yous worried about getting sick off of this shit. The cold shit, which in this case is the sushi, if it ain't prepared fresh in front've ya' when the shopkeep ain't manning the stall, it is stored in one've them enchanted chill boxes. As for the hot shit, which is all the other seafood shit that ain't sushi, well that's stored in a damn hot box, or well, edibly warm box, enchanted with nerifian magic shit. Now, some of you may be wondering what I mean when I say if the owner ain't manning the stall. Well like I said, this ain't your daddies kebab shop. This motherfucker's invested.

You see the machines they was usin' not only to cook the food but keep that shit preserved was Asago technology. Now those of you who know me personally know I don't trust them Asago motherfuckers one bit. At least when it comes to handlin' my damn money and shit like that. Still, from an engineering perspective which your boy's got his education and shit in, that stuff is mighty impressive for it's convenience. But because it's all Asago branded, them coolers and heaters interface with the weirdest part of the whole damn deal so far. The Asago mech robot whatever the fuck this shit is, thing. It's got a vaguely human-looking frame, and it says one or two things that it's supposed to say, so if you was making a scuffed as hell mechanation, it might vaguely resemble this shit. But that's where all the damn similarities stop. Never see it move out of one place, never see it strike up a convo. Hell it's got more real similarities to the machine I build for shits an' giggles than a damn Mech. But that's besides the point. Most of the time this robot ass motherfucker's the one handing service. Cause all food's prepped in the morning and preserved with magic shit the robot can handle sales like nobody's business.

Now some of you motherfuckers may be asking at this point, if the robot can just handle all the buying and selling shit, why the hell would my anti-social ass wanna ever go in when the Owner's in shop? Well I'm glad you asked John. Yes, I know it's you John. It's always fucking you. You see, for one thing... you get the food made fresh for ya'. Yeah that's right if the owner's there an' you ask 'em directly they make the food right in front of you so you can experience it as it was meant to be, right after it's made. Second, the service ain't bad. The Owner's courtious enough that it ain't offensive. I mean they ain't gonna give you the damn relationship you'd have with your favorite kebab stand or taco stand or some shit like that but they got the job done. Finally, and this was the most surprising thing I noticed.

They give you a discount if you order in person.

I checked the final price tag they was giving me versus the prices listed on the damn robo merchant and I found that my total was slightly lower than if I just bought it from the damn robot. I guess they appreciate when folks show up so they can show off their damn cooking skills. Hell, I ain't complaining. Murai saved murai earned, all that shit.

So should you go to the S3-Shack?

Hell yeah chief.

The food is damn good even when it ain't as fresh as it could be. Health standards are top-notch. Service is adequate. There are opportunities for discounts and shit. Honestly, the only thing that might turn a motherfucker off is the price. When I was comparing it to the old food stalls I used to get shit at when I was younger the comparison wasn't one hundred percent accurate. Those damn places was for people like me who was broke as shit. Like I didn't have no goddamn cash on me and they was so cheap I swore they were putting something I probably shouldn't be eating in the damn meat. As for this place, it's a bit more above board but cus of that it's got a slightly higher premium than drop-dead broke. For folks who got a low-paying job that gives em stable income, this ain't no problem. For folks who are smack dab in the middle of economic prosperity, hell they can eat here all they damn want. Rich folks, I know you bougie ass motherfuckers ain't down for cheap shit like this but give it a shot. And for my people, if you're really that dead-ass broke, save up for a treat. I'll tell ya' it's more legit than the crack dealers down the street yous eyeing up chief.

The S3-Shack is located South Side Dormeho, first stall east of the mages guild, right side of that stall. The S3-Shack is ran in association with Bravest Snack Stall.

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This review was written and posted by yours truly, the one and only J-Shot, most legit reviewer around. If you looking to get your spot on the map, post a reply under my latest review or my first letter and I'll contact you to check you out when I can.