[Ryu-Kazuki]

Rockabye » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:51 pm[/url]"]Firstly I want to clarify that my statement that it "may be best not to respond" wasn't due to the fact that I felt like I shouldn't care what you had to say. That was primarily because I've noticed (and I'm sure you have too) that when you post on sensitive issues like this, people tend to start arguments over this or that which you said, and I didn't want the thread to deteriorate into that, or to put you in that position in a thread that was meant to be constructive. Actions speak louder than words, so I assumed it would be best to allow you to give your answer that way, rather than through a post that some may jump at the chance to dissect, quote, and attack. There was no disrespect intended.

Next, it wasn't my intention to make biased assumptions. People say all sorts of things, I'm aware, and I made sure I had seen logs before taking it into account for this thread, along with having witnessed some of these scenarios first-hand.

Bias can come from the sources you get, including logs. People can pick out parts and say "they meant this" when they didn't even understand in the first place themselves. I wasn't saying you were being biased, but if you get information from a bias source, and don't know the situation or why it was said, but still agree with it, it's still a biased statement. Also if the thread does deteriorate into that, which it still might have even if I didn't post, and if it it, it'd probably be something borderline flaming since it'd be negative and insulting in some manner, so I'd probably just not even consider it as a valid point.

Yes, actions speak louder than words, but with no understanding and guidance, how can you really help? Like I said, you really need to know both sides of things before making statements like these.

Rockabye » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:51 pm[/url]"]Third, the way your communicate with others does matter in the community. I'm not trying to bring your personal life into this so much as the way you choose to interact with the other people in this community. And I'm not saying that they're not part of the problem, but sometimes it's best to just take their criticism, say "I understand, I'll consider it," and most importantly make sure that the people who do confront you remain comfortable doing it in the future. The thing that concerns me the most is that you were so quick to reply to this thread after first seeing it. Where in the small time-frame between the time you first opened this page to the time you finished writing that reply (which looks like it took awhile) did you really reflect and compare the things I've mentioned with the things that you've done? Either you haven't been with this community very long, or you dismissed the notion entirely.

I've been with this community for six years, thank you. Just because I read it and responded after a good number of minutes doesn't mean I didn't consider anything, but it's better that every fact be taken into consideration before making very bold statements. Otherwise it's not very different than slander.

Rockabye » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:51 pm[/url]"]And finally, this is what I mean when I say you get defensive. Confrontation isn't accusation, so why are you even feeling the need to defend yourself against something that's entirely meant to help you? Everyone believes you can be doing better but, apparently, you. In my time here, not once have I seen you admit you were wrong when all of the evidence said otherwise. And that puts you in a very bad light. I don't mean this in a hostile way, but it's upsetting to see you bringing out the worst in yourself, because then your worst is all people are going to be able to see. If you have a problem with the community, then state it as a separate issue. You made it clear that respect is important to you, but if that's the case then you should recognize how disrespectful it is for you to have a problem with members of the community, but sit on it until you can use it in your defense when they bring up a problem with you. Their problems and your problems are two different things. Yes, everyone has them; but this thread was about yours, and it was meant to help you, so it's actually very hurtful for you to bring up problems with the community now when you can use them in your defense, when a defense isn't even necessary. You're not on trial, we're trying to help.

I'm defensive for clearing things up? Sorry, but I should be able to correct some things about me, especially if they're incorrect. Maybe if you heard it from me as to why some things might have been done a certain way, or cleared up some of the confusion / statements made, especially when you assume that I don't think I can be doing better. That's part of my point, actually. It's really slanderous and misinformed to think you know how I am or how I do things before making such bold claims.

What I say on Skype doesn't reflect me as a GM, plain and simple (unless I said something stupid and threatened to ban someone for no reason or something like that; but I don't do that). Stop acting like that's a valid argument, because it's not. I'm a person, and that's like saying you had lunch with me at McDonalds, I said "fuck you" and you decided I'm a bad GM.

It's not disrespectful for me to explain why I don't like the actions of people.

But I will say what irritates me the most, and does get me stressed, is how a lot of people around here treat others. I'm tired of hearing on Skype about so and so being an asshole or saying this on OOC or acting this way. It drives a lot of players away and makes them not want to come back. I don't like seeing people leave, Hell I don't even like the thought of banning people. But when people think they can act however they want, and say whatever they want and people have to just put up with it, that's when I start actually getting somewhat irritated. Jokes are fine, I'm entirely okay with you cracking a joke at someone as long as they are okay with it and it doesn't disrespect someone. But when you do, and they tell you to stop but instead you keep going or want to argue with them, I'm going to step in and I'm going to tell you to stop.

It's actually my job to make sure that sort of thing doesn't happen. I don't see why you have a problem with someone telling you to stop being disrespectful towards others. If you want to help me, then I need your help as well, and pointing that out can really show people the reason why things might be the way they are.

In my time here, not once have I seen you admit you were wrong when all of the evidence said otherwise.

Some of the logs on the old forums got deleted with it, but just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not true. In fact I generally get pretty upset (especially at myself) when I do things to hurt people or do something wrong against another person.

I also find it amusing that people are only mentioning the bad things and nothing good that I've done. Saying I haven't done any good or that I don't help out is just proving my point on the matter of bias. And just because you don't see it happen doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I'm listening, and I even stated that I appreciate how you're doing this and how you're handling it, but it's very hurtful to me for you to say things and not listen to what I have to say before thinking you can help me. Sorry but you really don't know who I am just by listening to other people.

tl;dr If you're not going to listen to me and take that into consideration before trying help, I don't see any reason I should listen, especially when you're saying things that you are misinformed about and clearly don't know the entire truth to. It's pretty disrespectful otherwise and if you're not going to consider that, then I'm not going to consider what you have to say.

So please, if you are trying to help me, listen to what I have to say, know me and understand me, know how I am, and how I view my problems before you start throwing these things out and looking like a voice of reason. I'm not saying you're attacking me, but you're sure not doing a lot of good by publically trying to make me look like a bad guy who doesn't care about anything but himself.