[Shujin]

I think many people, genuinely attempt to do things that are fun for everyone. Not everyone, but I would say a majority of people somewhere just want to have fun with everyone else.

We are different kind of people. With different ideas of fun and obviously sometimes that clashes. Frustration comes from that and sometimes that frustration boils over and things are being said that mayhaps shouldn't have been said. This is however the best case scenario. People eventually calming down, maybe even apologizing and admit that things have been maybe said in the heat of the moment, or an act has happened due to a stressful situation that maybe could have played out better in a calmer setting.
I think this is fine.

I admit though that I too feel that many of the concerns you have stated, I have felt for many many years now. Espically the "First to speak up, wins!" thing about speaking up to admins, is extra true, cause even if we assume the Admins do what they can to find the truth, the narrative is ultimately directed by those very few people that speak up, allowing them to Weaponize the Admins in a way and can even fake evidence. Since there is Zero transparency between that and the people being accused, they suddenly have to fight a defense war against unseen threats. Stuff plucked out of context? Faked Evidence? Blown entirely out of proportion or even omiting their own shortcomings to paint themselves in a better light and justify it?
The accused doesn't see any of that, and need to grasp for air, as the one accuser who might have malicious intents sees the whole gameboard. This? Needs to change. The transparency system as it stands, or lack of it, makes weaponizing admins easy. I am not one who often speaks up about my own problems. Only if I feel a certain threshold has been crossed, which can take a while with me. But someone might be way quicker to the gun, cause who shoots first wins.
No matter how I look at it and see the well intentions behind the system, it is most certainly abusable.

I'd change it to a simple system where someone has concerns? they come to an admin and they sit together with that person and talk it out. I am almost certain 8/10 times things will be solved in a way better way. the other 2 cases just get banned, if they then continue to harass them after a genuine attempt to solve the issues, instead of using admins as weapons in the first place. You know? talk about stuff? Like adults. Which most of us are.

I have been very vocal about my own dislike of this community for a while. We have many good people. But we have some seriously bad apples, and I feel they abuse this system very hard as a vocal minority with extremely malicious intents.

Another thing, which I think is absurd, and thats coming from the Admin team...If there are things that happend like 3-4 or more months ago and nothing happend inbetween? let it slide man. There is no need to suddenly hit someone with a 3 month ban. Smaller bans usually serve as slaps on the wrist and as a way for people to see "Maybe I should be more careful.", just slapping them with the 3months out of nowhere, robs people of the learning expereince and any chances to 'do better'. If you go ghost hunting and undigging such old problems, all you do is add to the paranoia and fear in the community to even interact properly. Let a dead horse, and old grudge, be that. A dead horse. Stuff changes over time, there is no reason to play Gravedigger, just cause you absolutely need this "evidence" so you can punish them more severly.
I do not think that's healthy, it only makes sense to do when these things continuously happen for a long period of time, or as reference points. But to dig up the whole graveyard, just to hit someone with one big strike? Does not only feel disconnected from reality from everyone who sees it from outside, its also probably 80% irrelevant at that point, and if we want to grow as a community, holding onto old grudges is not going to help, its rather fostering people to load their gun and cultivate hatred. I do not think thats good. I think we should forster a setting where we can let bygones be bygones.
I know a tall order to ask. But thats one of the biggest problems this comminuty has. And current ways of handling things just emphasize this mindset.

That being said, I atleast held no ill feelings towards you Anhita, even though you might have thought so. Things happend, they weren't great. Was I frustrated? Hell yeah! Did I think you could have acted better too? Sure. But it was one hell of a shitshow and I do not blame you in the slightest for anything that happend. And I am sure you have similar feelings regarding the situation and me. Both made mistakes that came from stress. So let me atleast say it offically here, that I hold absolutely no ill feelings towards you, and I think its sad that you slowly come to similary jaded picture that I have from this community.

Cause trust, there is nothing I would like to be more wrong about, then this community being all just twofaced liars, betrayers and a bunch of assholes that care for litterally nothing other than themselves and their friend circle at the time. I really want to be wrong about that.

Admins being the Bridge between people, rather than the assassin sniper, sounds alot nicer. I know its not THAT easy. But it certainly can be done better than it currently is.

This has however been a thing thats been on and off going for many years. So I can probably atleast "comfort" you, in saying that when you return someday, it probably will be exactly the same as before and you can return to it for the better and the worse. taking a break from time to time, when you got exhausted from this and taking a step away, to come back in fresh and with a clear mind,is probably not a bad strategy for your own sanity.