[TCBlade]

Game you were banned from: SL2

In-game name (key): My Parents Took My Lunch Money

Reason you were banned: "For repeatedly gatekeeping, metagaming, and OOCly preventing others from being able to exercise their roles fairly."  Exact wording on the reasoning given.

The length of the ban, if you know: One week.

Who banned you, if you know: Dyst

Why we should unban you:


Well, first of all, I want to say I still don't even fully understand why I was banned.  I talked with Dyst, and it took about 45 minutes (not exaggerating; last night for me, we started at 9:01 PM and it took until 9:48 PM) to even get to a point where it was being explained to me in a way that made sense, with me having to repeatedly ask why I was banned while I was having a panic attack because of it.  Given, I'll say that a few minutes of that was needed for me to calm down because my anxiety spiked a couple times while reading and trying to respond.  Still, even after we finished, I have an idea for one of the reasons, but not the first two.

I had repeatedly asked in DMs for examples to be brought up because I didn't know what these supposed "multiple instances of doing this" were, and even then, I was only given one specific case.  In that case, I was in a room with several other people, and I only saw one post on a certain player's end (and only saw them type once), and while I did not immediately respond to them immediately because I was typing a response to someone else, I did so afterwards, bringing up that they had a fair point I hadn't even considered.  Beyond that, I had seen nothing outside of them icly stating they were leaving so I could deal with the ongoing issue.  Multiple others were in the room, as stated before, and I'm quite certain that at least a few of them could vouch on my behalf.  But the way this was stated to me, it makes me feel like the ban itself is ooc-based and targeted.  I full admit that it might not be, but I'm one man stuck, against my will, trying to run a country on my own when I don't even want to run a country in Korvara solely on my own.  It's tedious, it's stressful, and I'll admit, it's had more of an impact on my health than I'd like to admit, to the point it's become fairly common knowledge to those I've talked to (and even some I haven't much talked to) that I'm constantly stressed about it for reasons that remain split in-game and out (split so far that my character and myself have two vastly different opinions on what's going on).

I'm going to be honest; I very much doubt I'm going to be unbanned, not because of it being a week, but more because of how it feels to me and how the chat came off towards the end.  Now, I could be entirely wrong on my feelings, but I was given one example, and the other two cases weren't even explained to me (or if they were, it was not made apparent).  It personally makes me feel like I'm intentionally being left out of why I was temp banned for a week.  Sure, I get it, GM anonymity and all that, but I feel like I should at least be made properly aware of why I'm banned and not left in the dark somewhat, and that there has to be some way for a GM to show me an issue so we could discuss it politely and get to the root of it.  I enjoy this game, and I don't want to cause problems for anyone.  That is probably why this shook me a lot harder than expected when I first saw it, and why it did the same for so many I frequently DM, rp with in the game, and interact with on an ooc basis.  Hell, if I somehow did do something wrong, I want to know, so I can change.  I wasn't given a warning, to my knowledge, and no GM dm'ed me with something like, "Hey, concerned about x topic, can I talk to you about that for clarification?"  I don't have any of you blocked, and I would have been more than willing to do so in order to iron things out.  Heck, the fact I don't feel like I got to fairly defend myself without being told, "I hear you.  Counterpoint: I don't care because of my perception of x and y" honestly stings.  Not a direct quote for clarification, more just what some of it came off as.

At the end of the day, whatever will happen will happen, and I'll move on, just like everyone else will at one point or another.  However, I want to know what I did wrong in full (rather than one part), where I can improve, and what exactly I should personally do.  Credit where credit is due; I was given a little bit of information, but even there, I still don't feel like I have enough to work with.  It upsets me, even angers me, that things came to this, especially when there were a plethora of other options out there.  And then, to hear that the ban of Hated and the temp ban of myself are a part of why some people are leaving?  It makes me distraught, even a bit sick, to hear that.  We're supposed to be a community, and a community is supposed to have the backs of one another and communicate.  I'm not going to say I'm perfect; heck, no one is, and to say that you are is narcissistic.  However, if there's an issue that involves me, I want to improve and fix upon it so it doesn't happen again, if possible, assuming there is anything I can do.  Everything I do in the game I do when I icly find out.  Sure, I've heard and seen things on the ooc end, but I waited until I heard about them icly in some form to act on them because that's not fair, otherwise.  That's a trend I intend to keep because it's important to ensure fairness and fun of the game.  Heck, I made an entire other thread about the issue because there was reasonable belief that things were being brought into ic from ooc.  Regardless, in the words of Joe Dispenza, "The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you made the day before."

At the end of the day, even if I'm not unbanned, all I ask is that I'm informed of issues when possible so I can iron it out if there is anything, or if not, then I can ensure with a GM that we're on the same page.